Two Slashes

Tech support. Not one of the happier places for a geek of any kind to work, considering the fact that most people call up with a very poor attitude and about as much patience as a bull, and the dread of every consumer, knowledgeable or not, for fear of long hold times and the chance of getting someone who’s already irritated or has about a day and a half of total experience, mostly in topics unrelated to the product at hand.

When something happens, they’re your second stop, right after a more knowledgeable friend. We all know someone we can turn to for help with this or that (or perhaps you’re the person everyone turns to), and everything seems to work out in turn. But when they fail, the next stop is a bit of wasted time on the phone.

You’re probably wondering where I’m going with this, but if you’re going to know what I’m ranting about, you need a little backstory. So here goes…

As one might already have guessed, I’m at college. That means a dorm…and a roommate. Anyway, my roommate’s been having problems with computer mice and his laptop recently, considering his current mouse is beginning to take a long slide off a short desk (to rephrase a metaphor). Not exactly the most interesting of problems, but a problem nevertheless.

His first choice in a replacement was a Razer Copperhead. Fairly decent, and also fairly expensive, and definitely something I’d avoid just for the fact that it costs too much and I don’t play games enough to warrant one. (Heck, I personally don’t think he does either…but then again we’re in school right now…). After waiting about a week for it to arrive (it had to be shipped), and problems getting it to work on his laptop consisting of Windows not accepting any form of driver for it (Side Note: It’s a Sony Vaio running XP in case anyone wants to troubleshoot), he returned it to the big box store from which he purchased it, citing problems. Interestingly enough, the problem didn’t lie in the mouse…because it worked fine on my machine, and it worked well under Linux on his laptop. (For the uninitiated: that reads software issue.)

Anyway, after that fiasco (and an error in his favor with the return desk causing him to earn $20, how he managed to get that I’ll never know), he set his eye on another very expensive mouse: the Logitech G9. Once again, the mouse refused to work under Windows on his laptop, but worked without a hitch on my computer, and under Linux on his.

Why is all of the storytelling relevant, and what does tech support have to do with this? Well, rather than let two mice go down the drain, problem unsolved, my roommate decided to give the Logitech support line a try and see if they could resolve his issue. I’ll try to sum this up as quickly as possible:

First Call (as described by roommate): After a bit of talking and the necessary preliminaries (name, product, etc.), the tech support operator on the other end of the line runs through some basic diagnostics, then says that he can’t figure it out, but will try to investigate the issue. He gives my roommate a case number to call back using in order to expedite his support request, and in the meantime to get an exchange on the mouse to make sure that it isn’t a hardware issue.

Second Call (as heard via speakerphone): After calling a second time, and getting who sounded like a really young guy, my roommate recited his case number. Funnily enough, Logitech’s support system has the case number entered into the database, but for some woman with some issues with a camera. He’s in there too, but he’s never had a support ticket attached to his name. So they attach a new ticket, and the operator proceeds to re-ask the same questions as the first (product, operating conditions, etc.). Once again, they run through all the diagnostics (which basically consist of checking Device Manager for the mouse, and making sure that it’s plugged into the computer), only this time the guy offers to elevate the case and see if his superiors have any better fixes. My roommate accepts and the call goes to hold. (”Interesting” techno-ish hold music plays here…)

When the guy returns from what can only be assumed as a quick conversation with a supervisor, he comes back on the line to inform my roommate that they won’t escalate his case. Why? “You informed me that your computer is dual-booting with Linux. I understand that your mouse works under this operating system, and that it works on your friend’s (mine ) computer. However, we don’t support alternative operating systems, so I have been told that this is as much support as you can get. I’m sorry.” At this point, he refused to offer much more help than that he owned two previous Sony laptops, neither of which had problems with Logitech products. And then he politely excuses himself from the call and hangs up.

So, have you figured out where the purpose of this rant is going yet? Fine, I’ll pose a question to you: What legitimate reason could there be for my roommate merely confirming that there’s a software issue at fault here, and that it isn’t the hardware? He took ALL the appropriate steps to confirm that the hardware was not at the issue, only to find that rather than be commended for helping narrow down the possible causes to those that have a root in the drivers, he gets shoved out of the way and treated like dirt.

It’s support like this (other grand examples being my numerous experiences with Dell and Comcast, among others) that makes people use phone support as a last hotline. And you know it’s a sad day in the world when people would rather let a total stranger come into their home (potentially setting up cameras on the way) to fix their computers and appliances than trust a representative of the very company that produced the product in the first place.

I’m still trying to figure out what possible reason there could be for the crappy quality of support Logitech provided; so far, I’ve come up with no theory at all, but have not a doubt in my mind that “We don’t support users of alternate operating systems,” is nothing but a shallow cop-out. As unsure of any underlaying motives as I am, at least I can say this with certainty, even though it isn’t much: Logitech, your stupid support staff just cost you my roommate’s sale, and perhaps a few more.