Two Slashes

Edit: Apparently this post managed to get posted at EXACTLY the stroke of midnight.  Does that still count?

As my contact page indicates, I’m more than a little bit of an IRC addict, and have been since my first introduction to it over eight years ago.  I even own one server and assist in the day-to-day operations of several others.

If you have no idea what IRC (which stands for Internet Relay Chat) is, let me quickly explain it to you.  Forget AIM, MSN, Yahoo!, Facebook, Skype, Google Talk, Jabber, and ICQ; IRC was developed before any of these were even a reality.

IRC operates on a client/server design, wherein people use clients (much like your AIM client) to connect to a server (which has other clients connected to it, or servers even if there’s enough traffic to facilitate the use of one).  The clients themselves are extremely basic, providing for the most part only basic text chat.  (There are unofficial extensions that allow you to transfer files, among other things, but not all people make use of these, and they’re not fully standardized.)  If you need a description to paint a mental picture, though, think of a server with several “tentacles” sharing data from one tentacle through the others.

The people who connect to these networks use “channels” to talk with other people in the channel (much in the same way you have a walkie-talkie with channels; these function the same way).  Private conversation is held in a similar manner through “queries.”

Unfortunately, IRC is seen more as a communications medium of the geek “elite,” and failing that, its simple nature also means that it’s been overused in the past few years as a way to control botnets, infected computers set up to attack others, send spam, and do their master’s bidding, which paints an even worse picture overall.  In fact, it’s just the opposite.

I use IRC as a hub for communicating with fans of TechCentric, and in an experiment, I started a small channel (irc.lostcarrier.net, channel #twitter) for people who were following me on Twitter.  And by small, I mean small; compared to just about any other medium, I’ve had only a handful of people drop in to say, “Hi.”  I have no idea whether it’s because people have never heard of IRC, but I hope that will change.  Someday.

There may not be a lot of meat to this post, but I have an idea for you.  Go out, find yourself an IRC server somewhere (whether it’s mine or not is of no concern to me), poke around for a bit, and then leave a comment about your experience.  You might be surprised at some of the people you meet.

Alright, so that title has a largely-unrelated UNIX joke in it.  Take out the joke, and it’s pretty accurate to this post, though highly geeky.  Please continue only if you are prepared to be bored.

One of the computer science classes I’m taking this semester entails a lot of coding in C as we explore lower-level interactions with operating systems.  The first coding assignment we were handed was nothing more than a group of menial tasks, something that just about everyone in the class did in a day or two with little to no trouble whatsoever.

Our second assignment, however, is more interesting, if not infinitely redundant.  As I stated in my previous post, I’ve spent my spare time this weekend working on writing a simple shell according to the specification they gave us.  (In between helping all those iPhone-toting people do their thing yesterday, of course.)

Among other things, the requirements include:

• A rather crappy infinitely-recording session history system that keeps track of the commands you’ve run and allows you to list and/or re-execute them as you wish by simply referring to them with a number.  While this might be useful, there is a point where this becomes excessive for an assignment like this.
• A 256-character command limit. I hate to say it, but plenty of commands I use on a regular basis are way over this character limit.  Looks like I’m better off sticking with something that isn’t this project, eh?
• Keeping track of the number of successful commands entered.  Alright, so this behavior can be found elsewhere.  It’s not really all that interesting, though.
• …and more!  (Sorry, I had to.  Well, maybe it’s true, though.  There are other requirements for this assignment.)

Typically, I wouldn’t have a problem with an assignment, but there’s something so wrong about reinventing the wheel, especially when a simple search on Google turns up more examples of the exact same thing than is necessary.  (There are so many usable results that I’m wondering if people are just going to try and claim a result as their work and check that in.)

I understand the idea behind the assignment, and it makes sense to an extent to be doing some of the work as it serves as a demonstration of where the concept could be useful, but there’s no reason to be re-coding the same applications countless others have done.  The possibilities for implementation may be endless, but limit that list to the number of practical possibilities and you’ll find that the number shrinks quite nicely to two or three, at most.

Stick a fork() in me (oh great, another joke); I’m going to stop ranting before I turn this into a week’s worth of posts.  Back to coding…

Alright, so this should at least partially explain my late posting last night.  Yes, I concede defeat, but it only means you’re getting two posts today.  And perhaps a slice of cake.  I hear people like cake.

It’s a funny thing.  Last night, I found myself up until all hours of the night, alternating between working on (an admittedly lame) project for one of my computer science classes (a simple shell, in case you were wondering) and helping a few of my friends set up everything they needed for a conference they were having over this weekend.  An iPhone software developer’s conference, to be exact, complete with introductory labs and plenty of student-provided help on hand.

And now, day one into the conference, and I’ve already found myself walking around wearing an Apple beanie and a lime green shirt with a huge silhouette of an iPhone screen-printed across the front (a shirt reserved for conference staff).  It’s the opposite of what one would expect given my previous rant about iPhones back when they were first announced.

Yes, the same person who was elected chair of the local student Linux Users Group is now running around answering random questions of MacBook-toting attendees.  While carrying around a Treo Pro (which runs Windows Mobile – is that double blasphemy?).  And a Dell laptop.  (If that’s not a sign of me at least being aware of and open to what’s around, I don’t know what is.)  At least most of the people I came in contact with didn’t notice (or at least, they didn’t show any signs of it).

Admittedly, the questions I’ve been answering aren’t so much related to Objective-C and a device with more influence on culture than as they are locating the bathroom or finding out what time a talk starts and ends, and there’s been plenty of me sitting and babysitting overflow rooms full of people (due to the unexpectedly high demand for attendance in combination with being assigned smaller rooms for presentation), interspersed with babysitting a lobby full of hungry people and carrying the remains of the feeding hour for those hungry people out to a dumpster.  I’ve been taking any spare time between (or even during) these events writing posts and working on my shell more.

What I’ve caught of the talks has been fairly informative, though useless to me as someone not all that interested (at the moment, at least) in the iPhone platform, and it isn’t quite enough to make me “eat more fruit.”  That isn’t to say they weren’t well-presented; it seems as though the guy who’s been doing most of the talking has seen this YouTube video about proper PowerPoint etiquette.  (And before you ask…yes, he was using Keynote, so it might not be all him.)

Oh, and while bugs in software are fun, bugs that laugh at you are even more fun.  (Yes, that’s a bug in my code.)

And yes, the cake is a lie.  Or maybe not…

Late last night, I heard about a new product from Google called Latitude, designed in the intent of keeping you updated with the locations of your friends and allowing you to let them know where you are.  Despite a rather busy day today, I ended up spending a few minutes playing with it.

This isn’t the first time somebody’s suggested that your friends are interested in more than just answering what you’re doing, but the fact that this service comes with your Google account means that there’s already a huge potential userbase compared with the limited registration at services like Brightkite.

The idea itself comes in two parts, one for your iGoogle homepage, and one for your mobile phone of choice (though better iPhone support is still in the works).  Sadly, this isn’t integrated directly into Google Maps (yet), so anybody who doesn’t use the customized homepage is going to be left out in the cold…or at least a portion of the service.

Essentially, the mobile phone software is an update to Google Maps which allows you to post your GPS information automatically to Latitude and display pushpins for your friends.  This is where I believe Latitude where be most useful, as you’re likely to be doing something other than stalking out a good time while you’re at home.

The pushpins representing your friends show you not only their location, but allow you to get in touch with them with a phone call, IM, or text message, or find cool venues you both could meet up at.

If you don’t want to automatically update your location, you can manually set a pushpin to represent it using your phone or the web interface.  Of course, this isn’t as fun unless you’re claiming to be swimming across the Atlantic or something.  (Oh wait, I’m getting ideas…this could be bad.)

Google seems to have looked to Brightkite for their privacy settings, allowing you to not only declare which friends you want to see, but how accurately you want your location displayed on a per-friend basis.  However, you don’t have to make a distinction about which contacts are “trusted”, which means that you won’t have to worry about any moral dilemmas over labeling some people as such but excluding others.  (Hey, it’s a legitimate benefit.)

Of course, it’s not difficult to imagine Latitude being used in a less-than-stellar manner.  ABC’s already touting the service as a way to micromanage your kids, and it’s only a matter of time before someone repurposes their old phone as a tracking device for their stalking toolkit.  And I’m wondering how this will do for trying to blame traffic on being late…or whether Google might be looking at a few more subpoenas.

The social concept behind Latitude is cool, and makes for a neat tie-in to other Google features that can’t be matched by some of the competing rivals, but at the same time it makes me wonder if Google really is planning on world domination.  Think about it:  Google probably already handles your e-mail, calendar, contact list, word-processing, number-crunching, trip planning, and Internet searching/browsing needs.  Add where you are in real time to that list, and Google perhaps knows more about you than you know yourself.

I don’t think I’ll be participating (for the moment), except in a humorous capacity, so if you’re thinking of following me around, I apologize.  (I require all stalkers to be physically present and wearing a trenchcoat and sunglasses at all times.)  If you don’t have the stringent requirements I do, you might find this worth poking around at, though.  It definitely shows that there’s still plenty of space left in redefining social networking.

Disclaimer:  I am not actually writing this post from Wrigley Field.  However, I wish it were a few months from now and that that pushpin was accurate.  Oh well.

I can think of two reasons (not twenty-five) off the top of my head with which I can explain my jump back into social networking with Facebook last year.  The first was because of its relevance to my education (I can explain more some other time…), but the other (and perhaps more relative) reason was because social networking for me was ruined with all of those crappy surveys and “pass-this-forward” chain-mail notes typically associated with MySpace.

I think I’m going to have to find a new hidey-hole soon, though, because I think the MySpace “spam” has jumped ship in a big way.

Nick and I were making fun of the most recent hit on Facebook (in which the user posts 25 interesting things about themselves and then has everyone they know do the same in a chain) and ended up compiling a list of twenty-five (how original, eh?) reasons you know the site has dug itself a place in the mainstream community.  We came up with the following:

1. MySpace pleasantries, like the “if-you-get-it-you-must-post-it” ideology have found their way into the most useless of posts on Facebook.
2. Companies would rather pay someone to maintain a Facebook “page” than put together a full-on website.
3. (also known as 2b) Companies see more value in short-lived Facebook marketing gimmicks than they do in other longer-term investments.
4. Every entity known to man needs both a fan page and at least three different groups praising said entity’s hair and eye color and their date-ability.
5. (also known as 4b) In a work-safe allusion to xkcd’s Rule 34, if a Facebook group doesn’t exist for something you’re looking for, it must be created.
6. People you’ve never met before, let alone live in the same state as, ask to be your friend.  (I don’t know how many people claim they “recognize my name” in their friend request.  Sorry, but I’ve never bothered to keep in touch with any 40-year-olds from New Jersey, let alone ever been there.)
7. Advertisements are aware of your relationship status, and prey on you with this information.
8. The quickest and most effective way to recover your phonebook is by inviting all of your friends to post their numbers publicly to a Facebook group.
9. You get constant e-mail notifications that you’ve been invited to these groups.  (Of course, if you haven’t turned them off by now.)
10. You either ignore or accept these requests en masse in numbers too big to comprehend.  (To the order of a googol per day?)
11. Other websites try to use the Facebook design in hopes that it will make them “attractive.”  Sorry, but I don’t think that works.
12. Relationships are done and undone by the profile pages of those involved.
13. You find that people need to question what “it’s complicated” really means.
14. The act of poking someone is not a casual occurrence or a means to test the water, but the start of the next world war.
15. Not only are your friends on Facebook, but so are your parents, professors, and politicians.  (Alliteration++.)
16. It may now be optional, but everyone still writes their statuses (on Facebook or anywhere else) as though that extra “is” will be automatically added on, regardless of whether the blurb makes sense with or without it.
17. You’re more likely to be fired for partying on the weekend on your personal time than you are for making mistakes at work.
18. You’re more likely to lose all that effort you put into your education with your profile than you are in several other manners.
19. You find that your new pastime is untagging yourself from embarrassing photographs in hopes that your employer and/or other friends don’t see what you’ve been up to.  (It’s sad that people would rather play a cat-and-mouse game than simply not act like idiots for a camera.)
20. You find yourself being served legal papers via Facebook simply because the authorities haven’t had too much luck in tracking you down.
21. People make lists parodying common Facebook “note spam” in a poor effort to point out that things are going down the drain.
22. People no longer find proper instant messaging channels, e-mail, or even the phone appropriate ways to communicate.  The only forms of communication they now accept all revolve around their Facebook inbox or wall.  (If you don’t believe me, I have IM logs to prove that I’m not the only person who’s noticed this.)
23. You hear that Facebook is increasingly fitting into the shoes of Google and Microsoft and attempting to buy up everything in sight.
24. You hear that Facebook is increasingly interested in lending their userbase to third parties for data collection.
25. People randomly wish you a happy birthday, even though you’ve never told them when it was, and without any expectation of you doing the same thing on their special day.  (There’s nothing like a guilt-inducing sidebar area for that.)

Perhaps I’m being a little obnoxious in posting something like this, but I’m finding it harder to care as the number of posts I’m being notified about increases.  Twenty-five random facts about me?  Try twenty-five reasons Facebook is turning into MySpace with a new name.

Back on Monday I was making predictions about what would come out of this week’s Macworld and CES expos. Now that the keynotes have been delivered, the products introduced, and the reviews, well…posted, I guess, I might as well explain what I liked and didn’t like about what I heard through the grapevine and saw posted to the various tech news outlets.

First up, matching the beginning of the week, I might as well start with Macworld. Now, as I’ve said on too many other occasions to count, I’m not Apple’s biggest fan. I do respect the innovation and design they’ve brought to the table, but given how I’ve grown up with technology, they’re just not the fit for me. Nevertheless, I did (for once) pay at least some attention to what was coming out of Moscone Center.

If you’ll recall my predictions, I hoped that there would be a mention of the Mac Mini, AppleTV, or even a hint about Snow Leopard (once again, that’s OS X v10.6 for you IBM-compatibles). Three strikes, I’m out – I wasn’t even close on any of these mentions. However, I also asked for – and received – an announcement about the iPhone, though I was sorely disappointed that it was only to announce iTunes was going mobile, something that should have happened a long time ago and that (based on reviews) shouldn’t be a deciding factor in anyone getting a newfangled iPhone or iPod Touch.

What I didn’t even think about (which is to my eternal shame given the how-to I need to fix) was Apple’s iWork, and to hear mention of the new online aspect of it makes me wonder whether Google needs to go the extra mile with Google Docs to stay relevant. However, given that I haven’t used iWork.com yet, I’ll likely reserve judgment until I have that opportunity.

Apple isn’t the only company I have a certain dispassion for. Against my better judgment, I ended up watching the greater portion of the Microsoft keynote streamed live. (It’s alright, I’ll take a moment to allow you to throw things at me.)

While I was expecting mentions of Windows and Xbox, I wasn’t expecting them to turn a keynote into a combination concert/multi-person comic act. My first bout of laughter came when they made a brief reference to the forgotten Seinfeld commercials of last year. (Not only does anyone who happened to miss those commercials probably not get the reference, they probably felt Ballmer and Co. a little dumb for allowing such an out-of-the-way remark to display during their presentation.) Also noteworthy in causing me to fall out of my chair was the lower-third displayed during an Xbox 360 demo for Kodu (a game development platform-thing they’re planning on releasing soon), which they invited an “actual 12-year-old girl” to participate in. (I feel sorry for Sparrow – if that’s her name – and all the ridicule she’s probably getting, but the fact that a multibillion corporation needed to instantiate that they didn’t have an actor “playing” a preteen is definitely high on the list of unnecessary clarifications.) As far as musical accompaniment goes, they also could have found a better musical number than Tripod, one who didn’t seem to drag on and on.

Not all of Microsoft’s presentation was a stand-up act, though. I was more than pleased to hear that a new (Flash-compatible!) version of Pocket IE was going to be released sometime soon, though the also-mentioned “Netflix for Windows Mobile” definitely left me questioning whether such a waste of time was necessary.

Anyway, to continue with my lack of prediction skill, I also had questions about this Zii platform. It turns out that Zii is simply a media-oriented system-on-a-chip, touted as having power equivalent to that of a supercomputer. I think I’ll pass on the comparison, because for that to be true I must be carrying around the equivalent of a small cluster in my jeans pocket in the form of a mobile phone.

Palm really came though with their just-announced Palm pre. (They don’t capitalize ‘pre’ for whatever reason. I’ll also add that I think Nova was a better name, almost like Revolution was for the Nintendo Wii.) While the mockups were true to their word of the phone being a vertically-aligned slider (*BLECH*), the new OS is more than enough to make me at least consider it, should one find its way to a GSM network. The giant charging “podium” has me concerned, though, and makes me think that this phone was designed moreso to show up Apple than it was to be a phone, but that’s probably a minor gripe in the scheme of things.

Other than Microsoft, Apple, Creative, and Palm, I’m still not really too interested with this week’s events. Oh well – there’s always next year. Maybe I’ll develop some more enthusiasm by then.

(Some images shamelessly stolen from Engadget. Thanks, guys.)

Thousands of people are going to be making a pilgrimage to the western United States over the next few days to fulfill their rites as geeks, nerds, and fanboys by visiting Macworld and CES. Normally, I wouldn’t be too giddy about either of these events in their own right. Call it ignorance, call it a lack of interest – honestly, there’s not much difference between the two in this respect – but this year is different. This year has pulled me in quite more than I would like.

Perhaps it’s the fact that this year marks the last Macworld at which Apple will be giving a presentation, and that such a landmark event will be without the personality of yesteryear. I’m not an Apple fanatic by any means, but to see what’s become just as important as Christmas or Thanksgiving for some vanish into thin air is quite a stir, especially when compounded with the fact that Steve Jobs will not be making an appearance. (As I’ve mentioned other places, I’m not entirely convinced that Steve’s health is what it’s cracked up to be.)

All that said, if I have an interest, I must be expecting some announcement or other to come out of earthquake country. (Making predictions is part of the fun of these events, right?) While my predictions aren’t as humorous (or outrageous) as the MacBook Wheel, based on some of the things I’ve heard (and found off the beaten path) today, I wouldn’t be surprised to hear that the Mac Mini is making a comeback tour. (Perhaps it will join up with the Apple TV to make a superband?) Apple will probably make some other low-key announcements like upgrades to their product lines, an update on Snow Leopard (OS X v10.6 for those of you not in the know), and probably something moderately important to deal with the “revolutionary” iPhone.

Companies named after fruits aside, the Consumer Electronics Show has also been one of those events I tend to write off without much thought or care as to what comes out of them. I’m not a big gamer, so typically hearing that the Xbox 1080, PlayStation 5, or Nintendo Yuu and a million associated games are coming out isn’t something I typically care too much about. New stereo systems? Whatever. Is Blu-Ray still not dead? *shrug*

CES isn’t without its allures this time around, either. As a long-time Palm fanatic (okay, you got me), it pains me to see them struggling, and as a consequence I’m most curious about what’s going to come out of this Nova project. I’ve been following it fairly closely, and though I hope it doesn’t completely render my Treo Pro (more on that hopefully to come) obsolete, I hope the predictions of it being launched on a device similar to the one pictured here (from Gizmodo) are inaccurate.

I’m also intrigued by Creative’s Zii project, whatever it may be. Creative, who’s also been having some trouble as of late with the revenue, is another company I’ve always had a soft spot for. As with Palm, though, my interest is hopefully not wasted, though these images aren’t doing anything to improve my hopes.

To recap, I’m waiting on the “next big thing” to come out of Cupertino (perhaps so I can buy someone else’s product and then mock them later about it when my purchase does more, but that’s another story) and a pair of companies I’ve long supported to either make one last attempt to break free of their problems or die along the way. If that’s any indication, I’ll probably be spending every spare moment at work keeping up with the coverage to make sure things are as good as they can be. Any other interesting news will just happen to be icing on what very well could happen to be a very sour cake (and that’s a waste of icing if the cake is bad).

Is there anything you’re waiting for at CES or Macworld? Do you think my predictions are terrible, or have any of your own? Leave a comment!

(And good luck to Keri, who’s making her way over to Macworld in hopes of getting at least a single Macworld under her belt. Have a safe and enjoyable trip!)

I figured I’d try a different approach for once and see where that got me.

Given the sheer number of products and services we hear about on a daily basis, it’s easy enough to forget the ones that couldn’t quite reach out and make themselves a universally-known (in some cases, literally) entity.  But that doesn’t mean they are any less deserving of our attention.  For your enjoyment, here are some of what I believe to be the most amusing failures I can recall throughout the history of technology.

• (Swatch) Internet Time – If there’s one thing we definitely have enough of here on Earth, it’s time zones and ways to tell time.  Time zones, 12- and 24-hour time, daylight savings time…  Alright, listing that is boring, and having to take all of that into account while talking with people on the other side of the world is like taking a needle to your eye.  Swatch, being the omniscient corporate entity they obviously were, decided that all of this could be resolved with the introduction of an arbitrary standard called Internet Time.  Internet Time divided the day into 1000 equal parts of about a minute and a half apiece and was designed to be consistent across the globe to eliminate the need for time zones.  However, when you take into the account the fact that this was introduced just as the Internet was becoming mainstream, the issue with scheduling things in “blips” with people who have no idea what you’re talking about makes you look like a fool to the majority of the world, there’s no standard for writing the day (just the time), and the fact that ‘@’ was (and still is) most often recognized as part of an e-mail address, it’s not hard to see why Internet Time never made it to the big time.  (Sorry, pun intended.)
• Cuil – I wrote about Cuil once already, and I got quite a bit of feedback both here and on Twitter about it.  But for those who aren’t in the know, or haven’t seen my previous post about it, Cuil was touted at one point as the Google-killer, the end-all-be-all to searching.  Backed by some venture capital and a few of the genius minds who helped shape Google, Cuil was supposed to redefine what a search engine was.  Instead, it ended up showing just how pointless it was to try and humiliate Google right out of the starting gate.
• Microsoft’s Seinfeld Ad Campaign – Microsoft insists that the ads were intentionally about nothing (after saying that they were supposed to be a longer marketing campaign), but if that were the case, why were they produced in the first place?  I’m sure Jerry Seinfeld has plenty enough to do without helping Bill Gates try on shoes.  The only reason I can think of for this travesty even ever being unveiled was because Bill had some random “Things To Do Before I Leave Microsoft” list which was topped by making a pointless ad campaign with Jerry Seinfeld.  Well, Bill, now that you’ve got your wish, “What pointless thing would you like to do today?”
• Online Currency – Just as with Swatch’s idea of converting everyone to a unified time platform, several companies thought the way of the future was to develop “online currency” that could be used as an alternative to the real thing.  Get some credits for visiting a website?  No problem.  Viewing an ad?  Why not?  Want to buy something or send some money to that far-off relative?  Why not send them some e-money rather than worry about things like exchange rates, especially since retailers accept this mock currency as a legitimate form of payment.  It sounds like it might have been a good idea, had they put some thought into why they sounded just like they were illegally printing their own money and then corrected it.  I think I’ll stick with Paypal, as at least they keep my currency in US dollars.
• Lively – It’s curious enough that I should have something from Google on this list, but Google never expected to be knocked onto their backside when they launched their answer to Second Life with little fanfare and little reason for anyone using Second Life (especially those investing in the game) to make the jump.  Lively shuts its doors at the end of the year (so it’s not dead yet), but being the top performer in one area doesn’t automatically mean you’ll be the greatest elsewhere.
• The Phantom – An apt name for this ghost of a console, The Phantom is perhaps the precursor to the downloadable content now available from Nintendo, Sony, and Microsoft.  In short, The Phantom was designed to be a console that acquired games over the web, eliminating the need for pressed disks, cartridges, and whatever other physical delivery method you can think of.  Unfortunately, the product never reached fruition, and the only part of their work to make it to market was their excuse for a keyboard.
• Windows ME – Alright, so it’s probably unfair to have two items by the same company on this list, but I really think that Microsoft managed to outdo themselves by even bothering to ship Windows ME.  Having spent several years living having to deal with this monstrosity, I can tell you that Microsoft should have thought ahead and given everyone prescriptions for headache medication with every license.  Between ME and Vista, I’m beginning to believe that Microsoft’s business model is to release a stable, usable operating system as a quick follow-up to versions that create plenty of uproar.  (See ME v. XP, Vista v. Windows 7.)
• Disposable (“Rental”) DVDs – What does fruit have in common with a DVD?  If you said that they both can rot, you’re not far off.  Who would have thought that people didn’t like the idea of paying for movies that expired like produce?  (I’d like to add that this idea seems to come up quite often; while The Register reports that the idea was spawned earlier this year, I distinctly recall Disney running a pilot program a few years ago.)

Do you have any other failures you’d like to bring into the limelight?  Is there something I’m forgetting, or do you think one of these is more worthy than the others?  Or, alternatively, is there something you believe to be one of the greatest developments since sliced bread?  Leave a shout in the comments and vote for your favorite.

(Also, I do believe I owe some thanks to The_Ugster for a suggestion or two.)

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Through some useless late-night meandering, I managed to come across this snarky blog post from AOL mocking Gmail’s latest addition to their popular e-mail/instant messaging platform, the ability to send SMS messages to cell phones (which has since been redacted so they can fix a few lingering bugs).  While it’s not ordinarily a big deal, some people without the appropriate plan and/or equipment might find it useful, as might someone overseas who doesn’t want to pay the “long distance text messaging” fees some wireless carriers seem to find all too important nowadays.

I find it interesting that AOL would attempt to play a humor card while they tout their own rusty horn, especially when you consider this is the same AOL that uses Google to power their search engine. Excuse me a second while I point out that this makes everyone at AOL look like a pack of three-year-olds without a babysitter and add myself to the numerous people who agree.

As someone who’s had rather interesting personal experiences with AOL over the past decade or so, I find their behavior here fairly lame.  Given those same experiences, though, I guess I can’t be too surprised.

I do have some words of advice for AOL, though (and I can think of a few others who can take something away from this as well, in a more generalized form, of course):

• When you’re trying to mock a company who may be trailing you in one area, it might be wise to consider whether you’re partners with them or not in another.  Nobody wants to do business when the only words you can say are, “I’m better than you,” especially when you seem to have forgotten that you’re not.
• Just because you’ve managed to beat someone to market with something as silly as an IM to SMS bridge doesn’t make you better.  I can’t exactly call most of Google’s offerings bloated, but I do suggest you go take a look at the whale you call your Internet portal and see how much fat you can trim out.  If it can’t function, I don’t care that it looks all glossy and shiny and can make little noises to notify me that somebody’s picking their nose.
• Perhaps there’s more to the Google branding than meets the eye, especially in professional terms.  Before you make a snide comment about Google only allowing users a Gmail domain, perhaps consider that nobody is going to use an address such as nicktabick@crazyforemail.com to conduct professional business.  (I find that address too stupid for personal use, either.  I also believe I’ve seen that address in my Spam folder before, but I digress…)
• If Halloween is a grand occasion to make fun of one of your partner/competitors, I wonder what Christmas is going to be like at the AOL offices this year.  However, for everyone’s sake, it might be better to ensure that the liquor, sugar, caffeine, and everything else that might get one of the press writers giddy is safely locked up lest someone posts a follow-up entry making fun of Time Warner.

Perhaps someone at AOL had a few too many candy bars before they came in for work (or, from the look of the timestamp on their post, on their lunch break).  Nice try, but next time around, use the sugar rush on something more productive – like decent software.

Technological advancement is great, isn’t it?  After all, it paves the way for an easier, more-enjoyable life, and it often does so in comfort.  It’s not every day, though, that said advancements are labeled terrorist tools by the U.S. Army.

According to a draft of one of the Army’s latest reports, Twitter, GPS, and voice-changing software are among the newest and hippest tools in a terrorist’s arsenal.  Yes, that’s right, things you probably wouldn’t find your neighborhood technophile without.  (Alright, maybe the voice changer is a stretch…)  Given this, the typical “terrorist profile” must include compulsive tweeters who have a tendency to get lost and then use one of those toy voice-changing bullhorns to ask directions of random strangers.

Considering the ridicule the U.S. Armed Forces is probably facing for a lack of their common sense, I’ve decided to list off a few of my own believed “terrorist tools.”  These are things that probably should have made that list as well for the sake of completeness.

• Just as Twitter allows one to follow to-the-minute updates of what their friends are saying and doing, why couldn’t RSS FEEDS function in a similar manner?  After all, they’re more or less the same thing (without the social aspect).  Subscribed to a feed put forth by their superior, your terrorist can act on whatever orders he’s been sent in seconds.
• For things that aren’t text or would be better consumed client-side, BITTORRENT would be a plausible option.  WIth the BitTorrent protocol now featuring encryption, the ability to run through Tor (and other anonymous proxies), the infinite file size limit, and the lower distribution costs resulting from its use, it’s already a great method for distributing intelligence.  Combine that with the RSS feeds I mentioned above, and BitTorrent becomes the ultimate way to keep your undercover operatives fully informed.
• To prevent any information from being leaked to the world at large, a private virtual network would be a great way to make sure information stays “in the family.”  Therefore, tools like HAMACHI are terrorist tools as well.  In addition to allowing remote support or remote LAN matches in your favorite video game, Hamachi provides a great end-to-end encrypted virtual network perfect for those building blueprints.
• There’s nothing like immersive training to make sure the trainee knows what things are going to be like in the field.  The NINTENDO WII provides a reasonable platform for combat training, given that it’s a cheap motion-sensitive platform with plenty of combat-oriented accessories available from your local GameStop.  Who said the Wii was just for kids?

Considering I use Twitter, RSS feeds, BitTorrent, Hamachi, I’ve messed with GPS systems, and I’ve played the Nintendo Wii, I should probably be looking behind my back everywhere I go at this point, as should at least three-quarters of the company I keep, lest we be mistaken for some terrorist cell and wake up in a detention center for questioning.

@bomb Countdown 5 minutes.