Today marks the day the Unix epoch time (the number of seconds since January 1, 1970, 12:00:00 AM UTC) reads 1,234,567,890. This event will occur at 11:31:30 PM UTC (which is when this post is scheduled to appear ).

Why might this matter?  The Unix epoch is used more than you think, including time management on that cushy MacBook you’re probably reading this post on.  That, and it makes for a more interesting clock than your standard 12/24-hour watch.  (This includes binary clocks.  Swatch Internet Time might still have it beat, though, simply for being obscure and having an at sign as a designator.)

In case you were interested, here are some other cool facts:

• A 32-bit computer will run into an issue (aptly dubbed the Year 2038 bug) when the epoch value becomes too big to store with 32-bits on January 19, 2038 at 3:14:08 AM UTC.  (Personally, I think it’s a shame that it’s only seven seconds from ending at 3.1415…but that’s just me.)
• Assuming your 32-bit computer makes it past the Year 2038 bug (not that hard to imagine from a software standpoint), the epoch time will reach 3,141,592,654 (approximately the first ten digits of pi) on July 21, 2069 at 12:37:34 AM UTC.  There will be pie to celebrate. (Since this value is larger than can be stored with 32-bits (2,147,483,647 is the maximum), a broken 32-bit computer will read June 14, 1933, 6:09:18 PM UTC.)
• Similarly, the time will read as the first ten digits of the mathematical constant e (2,718,281,828) on February 20, 2056 at 2:17:08 PM.  (Again, since this time flies right past the Year 2038 bug, a broken 32-bit system will interpret the time as January 15, 1920, 7:48:52 AM UTC.)
• Unix time reached a count of 1,000,000,000 (one billion) seconds since the epoch on September 9, 2001 at 1:46:00 AM UTC.
• According to the specification for Unix time, certain values can be ambiguous or point to times that never existed because of the lazy way each day is expected to be 86,400 seconds.  This miracle is brought to you by leap seconds and lazy developers (both known as order and chaos, respectively).
• This bullet exists for the sole reason of increasing the number of words.  Either that, or it’s just a ploy for me to poke fun at why I’m making a list in the first place.

Oh, and in case you didn’t notice, today is Friday, February 13, which makes for a truly “epoch” win. Except in those areas on east of UTC, where they’re already celebrating Valentine’s Day.  Geek love conquers all?

One of the computer science classes I’m taking this semester entails a lot of coding in C as we explore lower-level interactions with operating systems.  The first coding assignment we were handed was nothing more than a group of menial tasks, something that just about everyone in the class did in a day or two with little to no trouble whatsoever.

Our second assignment, however, is more interesting, if not infinitely redundant.  As I stated in my previous post, I’ve spent my spare time this weekend working on writing a simple shell according to the specification they gave us.  (In between helping all those iPhone-toting people do their thing yesterday, of course.)

Among other things, the requirements include:

• A rather crappy infinitely-recording session history system that keeps track of the commands you’ve run and allows you to list and/or re-execute them as you wish by simply referring to them with a number.  While this might be useful, there is a point where this becomes excessive for an assignment like this.
• A 256-character command limit. I hate to say it, but plenty of commands I use on a regular basis are way over this character limit.  Looks like I’m better off sticking with something that isn’t this project, eh?
• Keeping track of the number of successful commands entered.  Alright, so this behavior can be found elsewhere.  It’s not really all that interesting, though.
• …and more!  (Sorry, I had to.  Well, maybe it’s true, though.  There are other requirements for this assignment.)

Typically, I wouldn’t have a problem with an assignment, but there’s something so wrong about reinventing the wheel, especially when a simple search on Google turns up more examples of the exact same thing than is necessary.  (There are so many usable results that I’m wondering if people are just going to try and claim a result as their work and check that in.)

I understand the idea behind the assignment, and it makes sense to an extent to be doing some of the work as it serves as a demonstration of where the concept could be useful, but there’s no reason to be re-coding the same applications countless others have done.  The possibilities for implementation may be endless, but limit that list to the number of practical possibilities and you’ll find that the number shrinks quite nicely to two or three, at most.

Stick a fork() in me (oh great, another joke); I’m going to stop ranting before I turn this into a week’s worth of posts.  Back to coding…

1. It’s more secure than Windows XP.

Excuse me a moment while I laugh, then point out that Windows XP has more security bulletins (at least, as far as I’m aware) than any other platform, be it OS X, Linux, Solaris, or anything else.  Then let me point out that XP also has the largest market share.  Make sense yet?  Notice the correlation?  I thought so.

I’ll give Gizmodo credit for actually acknowledging that little tidbit in their article, but there’s no reasonable way to compare the security across all of these platforms.  So what if there are fewer bulletins?  For example, if I code a CMS for a site, and that site is the only one with that CMS, is it necessarily any more secure than a common platform like Drupal or Joomla?  It could have all the holes in the world, intentional holes even…but the fact that it’s one site in the shadows means that there’s probably only a handful of people in all the world who would even attempt such a pointless endeavor.  Those holes would remain, my CMS would have no security reports – so by all means, I’m coding the most secure platform, right?

There are some things that can be compared…but the “amount of security” is not one of them.

2. It’s the best-looking Windows yet.

This is a matter of opinion.  While I’m not a fan of the Fisher-Price stock blue Windows XP theme, I’m not a fan of Aero either.  The transparency is a little much for my taste, and I prefer a full Start button to something that makes me feel like I’m trying to predict the future with it.  And most of the other stuff, like the 3D task switching, is just overkill.

Instead, I prefer Windows XP (*cough*) with this theme (though I use the alternate version with the actual start button instead).  It’s a lot cleaner looking, and it looks professional and sleek enough to me to at least not look like I’m messing with some virtual preschool toy.

3. Games work just about as well as under XP.

This one’s a tough one, because it really depends on the game and the system configuration.  Some games experience drags on one or the other, others need to be hacked to work on one or the other platform; all in all, it’s a real mess.  But in my case, I’m fine with Hover! and a 486.  (Nobody ever said “gaming rig” meant top-of-the-line specs.  And if they did…well, they should be forced to play Hover! for a while.)

4. Vista Media Center is a fantastic DVR.

Not everybody’s even hopped on the DVR bandwagon yet.  First, you need to teach people how to make their clocks quit blinking 12:00am.  Then, you need to explain to these same people why using their computer over a subscription box or the cable converter gives them an advantage.  Good luck with that.

My dismay with the lack of intelligence among people today aside, there’s also the issue of lock-in here.  There are plenty of great and reliable alternatives that AREN’T Media Center, and have a lot more expandability (namely MythTV for the experienced, and MediaPortal for the faint-of-heart).  One also has the benefit of working under…Vista.

If I had to recommend a DVR, I’d actually probably end up recommending a Tivo over a PC solution for the people who can’t read manuals.  I did just suggest MediaPortal, but Tivo at least has the benefit of being dumbed down and friendly enough that anyone with a moderate English vocabulary or the ability to recognize a thumbs-up or -down could pick up the remote and start using it.  And people can understand and recognize a Tivo box much faster than they will a PC sitting in the entertainment center.

5. The sleep mode works.

Funny…I’ve only ever had one problem with a computer sleeping while using Windows XP.  And you know what the funny part is?  It’s a hardware problem, an issue on my motherboard designer’s part that causes the Ethernet jack to disable itself (and an issue easily circumvented with a separate LAN card, I just haven’t bothered to put one in).  My laptop’s actually sitting here, also in a state of slumber, awaiting me getting back to updates.

If you need further proof still, I’ve been kicking the power button to my Gateway Mini-PC for the past hour now.  And I can still see it lighting up in my management console.

6. Built-in search is better and more useful.

Perhaps if Microsoft had thought to default indexing to ‘on’ in XP, we wouldn’t be having this discussion.  Not that it matters; a properly-organized work environment means you’ll still be able to find things faster than that search box.

7. User Account Control is useful for some people.

Wait…what did they say?  Let’s look again:

7. User Account Control is useful for some people.

That’s what I thought.  And the problem is that they’ve just shoved their foot in their mouth.  Yes, UAC may be useful to some people…but most often people get too annoyed.

Microsoft tarnished their “plug-and-chug” image as far as usability was concerned when they implemented UAC.  What I mean is that rather than people have their all-authoritative power that they’re used to, with nobody and nothing asking them what to do, suddenly the computer is the boss.  “Are you sure you want to do this?”  “Are you sure you want to delete that?”  “This wallpaper looks nice, so you’ll need administrative privledges to change it to something else.”

Understandably, there’s going to be the phase where everyone hates it, then slowly warms up to it and the idea that it “helps”.  Right now, this is the hate phase, and everyone’s turning it off.  OS X does something similar, requiring the user to enter their password as additional confirmation…but the users are over it because there’s no setting to turn it off.  (If there is, please correct me.  But my voyages through the cat-flavored fruit haven’t turned up any.)  Microsoft, perhaps the checkbox should have waited?  Or been included only for enterprises?)

If you want all that in a nutshell, I’m actually commending Microsoft for this move.  But the implementation…it’s missing something.

8. Drivers support isn’t as bad as it’s made out to be.

Wow.  Finally an argument I don’t have enough experience with to debate completely over.  Why couldn’t Gizmodo have brought this up sooner?

I actually think the driver support is backwards at this point.  I’ve purchased “Vista-only” devices before, and had to hack them into submission for use with XP (namely, a Pinnacle remote control).  I understand that Vista’s the newer, shinier consumer sibling in the Windows family, but too many people are complaining and stalling their move to Vista to warrant products with no compatibility on older platforms.

9. It’s not any buggier than XP.

Once again, this is a matter of opinion in relation to the level of mishap you’re willing to accept before something becomes buggy and unusable.  And it’s already known that the biggest issues come from driver bugs - the more people using those “bugs” the merrier.

10. Vista is not slow if you have enough RAM.

Alright, complaining about this one is probably a little overkill, especially given that Microsoft has finally realized that free RAM is wasted RAM, and decided to stuff it with the morsels you might need to use the most.  Some of the slowness can be alleviated by turning off things like Aero…wait, did I just suggest turning off bloat?  Alright, that’s it.  Vista needs to get on the StairMaster now and lose some weight.

I tend to agree more with the complaints they brought up, including the painfully slow file transfers from h*** and the requirement to categorize every wireless network you see as something like “Home” or “Work”, .  But those are common and heard just about everywhere anyway, so it really wouldn’t be missed if Gizmodo hadn’t bothered at all.

For a computer science major, software developer, and someone who generally is known to stick with everything needed to get stuff done…it’s nearly 1.5 years since Vista was released, and I’m still running on the previous generation.  And for once, I would rather wallow in the history than leap into the future.

This week was supposed to be a big excitement for Ubuntu users, what with the release of Ubuntu/*ubuntu Gutsy Gibbon 7.10.  For many people, it’s been a fair experience.  Especially if these people are newbies, I’m talking of the perfect experience to get them into the Linux camp, and keep them for years to come.

However, Gutsy’s name has a double meaning that not many people are as willing to consider.   In a way, most people are correct in that the only real significance the name has is to differentiate versions and continue the trend of alliteration in the names set way back in the time of the “Hoary Hedgehog”.   However, I see a further significance to the name, as do many other people with (often unheard, or not-well-known) complaints about the new release.

Now, to be fair, I guess I owe a bit of back story before I launch into a ridiculous rant.  Since the time of Dapper Drake, I’ve kept an install of Kubuntu as my default operating system on my laptop (only using XP as a dual-boot option for times of necessity, like to use external video for reasons I won’t get into now).  This means that the majority of my work ends up being based in Linux.  With no problems, I’ve successfully used Dapper Drake and (with one small installation quirk) Feisty Fawn (6.06 and 7.04; I skipped 6.10 Edgy for reasons I don’t recall).  Anyway, since the release of Dapper, I’ve been pleased and more than happy to use Linux for the fact that everything worked, was recognized, and I really didn’t need to worry too much about what I was mucking around with because things usually ended up working (with only one or two notable exceptions).

Now, having had successful experiences with previous versions, one would assume that there would be nothing but good news surrounding updates.  Unfortunately, this isn’t the case for me, and several people just like me.   And I’m not inexperienced with Linux at all either, but the problems I’ve had are really turning me away from Gutsy and making me regret attempting to upgrade more and more as time progresses.

I’ll try to recap some of the more interesting of the problems I’ve had trying Kubuntu Gutsy here (while I reinstall and see if anything changes for the better), but there are so many it’s hard to even think to recount all of them.

• Shutdown no longer works.  At least, not without ugly hacks.  Yes, this is a very big, and seemingly very well-known issue.  Every version of Linux I’ve used on here in the past, be it Ubuntu or not, has worked perfectly in the power department, with no complaints whatsoever.  That is, until Gutsy.  Even the Live CD fails to power down the laptop when it should, instead giving me a black screen.  The hard drive is parked (as noted by the absense of being able to hear it and the distinct clicking sound it makes when you normally abruptly power off the machine) and nothing, including the keyboard, is responsive…but the only way the machine actually quits eating power is to physically hold the power button until it does so.

  Like I said, this appears to be a popular issue, with plenty of people suddenly in a similar situation.  But I find something as big and as common as this unsuitable for production-level software.  If you pride yourselves on having just released five alphas and some release candidates, one would expect the final product to uphold the standards set forth in them.  Feisty powered everything down fine; having to resort to holding down the power button not only is annoying, but it’s a great way to let your laptop overheat in your bag when you forget, and the thing sits there with the fan spinning full blast.

  Some people have reported being able to fix the issue by disabling ACPI support.  I tried it, and it worked for me.  However, this is unacceptable as ACPI is almost a necessity on a portable machine, which is why I’m not going to recommend it unless you’ve no need for what ACPI provides.

• Using a screensaver apparently causes the laptop to quit responding.  Yet again, this is another issue that I never had with Feisty.  Not that there’s much else to say than that.
• Suggesting that there’s a distro upgrade available when I’m running the latest build isn’t exactly helpful. Let me rephrase that:  Adept keeps suggesting that there’s an upgrade to Gutsy available.  Which would be helpful, say, if I was still on Feisty.  But seeing as I’m already on Gutsy, and the little tool it downloads to “continue the upgrade path” already sees I’m on Gutsy, it makes sense if everything else could seem to see that too.
• Where are the Kubuntu desktop effects? Exactly what it sounds like; I want to make my windows wobble on command.  Instead, Compiz seems to enjoy making sure I don’t have a window manager by the time it quits (Emerald starts with it, but doesn’t restart KWin at the end of the session).  Which is funny, because everything seems to be enabled by default on the Ubuntu Gutsy CD and working better than I would have expected.  Why can’t this methodology be easily applied to the KDE crowd?
• Hamachi refuses to start without beating around the bush.  Once again, there’s something changed between Feisty and Gutsy that plays with how well Hamachi functions.  While I don’t exactly blame either party for the break (it’s an OS upgrade of sorts, stuff happens), it shouldn’t take a ghetto hack involving decompressing Hamachi with UPX (which should be a non-issue at this point anyway) to get things working again.  Seriously, if people wanted that kind of thing, they’d probably be compiling their own kernel with Gentoo by now.
• I no longer seem to be able to add local printers via the Printer settings panel in the KDE Control Center.  Wait a second, it’s my machine.  Why am I no longer able to add printers to it unless those printers exist on a network connection (at least, using the GUI; there’s always the “edit-CUPS-configuration-files-and-pray-everything-works-when-you-restart-the-daemon” approach which still seems to be a viable option) is beyond me…what happens when I need to hook up to a printer directly?
• Strigi is annoying to no end when you trigger it accidentially.  Searching is a necessity, but I don’t call it efficient when I decide to reuse a tab Strigi is running in in Konqueror, only to find that every time I try to type a new URL, it overwrites it with one of its own.  It’s not exactly funny, now, is it?  Should I start taking things like the gas pedal off the developers’ cars?
• OpenOffice toolbar icons?  What icons?  Yup, there’s a bug in the included version of OpenOffice that for some reason makes all your toolbar buttons the text equivalents.  Yes, I’m aware it’s a configuration option to make them look like that anyway, and I know all about the different icon themes.  But flipping with the settings doesn’t work.  You’re stuck with the text.  (Hmm…for some reason setting the theme to Crystal suddenly allows about one of three different themes at the bottom of the list to work again…)

Given all the negatives, I must say that I have noticed that installing packages (once downloaded) appears to go a lot faster for me than it used to; even installing a big clump of packages doesn’t take more than a few seconds.  And I also enjoy the fact that the included version of KNetworkManager now seems to support VPNs through the aid of VPNC (or, I don’t remember having this capability before), which helps enormously considering my school requires one to connect to the campus wireless network.

However, also seeing how the *.04 releases seem to run better for me, I think I should stick with those for a while.  But if you’re one of the people who’s gutsy enough to put it all on the line for Gutsy…go ahead…be bold, be gutsy.

When something happens, they’re your second stop, right after a more knowledgeable friend. We all know someone we can turn to for help with this or that (or perhaps you’re the person everyone turns to), and everything seems to work out in turn. But when they fail, the next stop is a bit of wasted time on the phone.

You’re probably wondering where I’m going with this, but if you’re going to know what I’m ranting about, you need a little backstory. So here goes…

As one might already have guessed, I’m at college. That means a dorm…and a roommate. Anyway, my roommate’s been having problems with computer mice and his laptop recently, considering his current mouse is beginning to take a long slide off a short desk (to rephrase a metaphor). Not exactly the most interesting of problems, but a problem nevertheless.

His first choice in a replacement was a Razer Copperhead. Fairly decent, and also fairly expensive, and definitely something I’d avoid just for the fact that it costs too much and I don’t play games enough to warrant one. (Heck, I personally don’t think he does either…but then again we’re in school right now…). After waiting about a week for it to arrive (it had to be shipped), and problems getting it to work on his laptop consisting of Windows not accepting any form of driver for it (Side Note: It’s a Sony Vaio running XP in case anyone wants to troubleshoot), he returned it to the big box store from which he purchased it, citing problems. Interestingly enough, the problem didn’t lie in the mouse…because it worked fine on my machine, and it worked well under Linux on his laptop. (For the uninitiated: that reads software issue.)

Anyway, after that fiasco (and an error in his favor with the return desk causing him to earn $20, how he managed to get that I’ll never know), he set his eye on another very expensive mouse: the Logitech G9. Once again, the mouse refused to work under Windows on his laptop, but worked without a hitch on my computer, and under Linux on his.

Why is all of the storytelling relevant, and what does tech support have to do with this? Well, rather than let two mice go down the drain, problem unsolved, my roommate decided to give the Logitech support line a try and see if they could resolve his issue. I’ll try to sum this up as quickly as possible:

First Call (as described by roommate): After a bit of talking and the necessary preliminaries (name, product, etc.), the tech support operator on the other end of the line runs through some basic diagnostics, then says that he can’t figure it out, but will try to investigate the issue. He gives my roommate a case number to call back using in order to expedite his support request, and in the meantime to get an exchange on the mouse to make sure that it isn’t a hardware issue.

Second Call (as heard via speakerphone): After calling a second time, and getting who sounded like a really young guy, my roommate recited his case number. Funnily enough, Logitech’s support system has the case number entered into the database, but for some woman with some issues with a camera. He’s in there too, but he’s never had a support ticket attached to his name. So they attach a new ticket, and the operator proceeds to re-ask the same questions as the first (product, operating conditions, etc.). Once again, they run through all the diagnostics (which basically consist of checking Device Manager for the mouse, and making sure that it’s plugged into the computer), only this time the guy offers to elevate the case and see if his superiors have any better fixes. My roommate accepts and the call goes to hold. (“Interesting” techno-ish hold music plays here…)

When the guy returns from what can only be assumed as a quick conversation with a supervisor, he comes back on the line to inform my roommate that they won’t escalate his case. Why? “You informed me that your computer is dual-booting with Linux. I understand that your mouse works under this operating system, and that it works on your friend’s (mine ) computer. However, we don’t support alternative operating systems, so I have been told that this is as much support as you can get. I’m sorry.” At this point, he refused to offer much more help than that he owned two previous Sony laptops, neither of which had problems with Logitech products. And then he politely excuses himself from the call and hangs up.

So, have you figured out where the purpose of this rant is going yet? Fine, I’ll pose a question to you: What legitimate reason could there be for my roommate merely confirming that there’s a software issue at fault here, and that it isn’t the hardware? He took ALL the appropriate steps to confirm that the hardware was not at the issue, only to find that rather than be commended for helping narrow down the possible causes to those that have a root in the drivers, he gets shoved out of the way and treated like dirt.

It’s support like this (other grand examples being my numerous experiences with Dell and Comcast, among others) that makes people use phone support as a last hotline. And you know it’s a sad day in the world when people would rather let a total stranger come into their home (potentially setting up cameras on the way) to fix their computers and appliances than trust a representative of the very company that produced the product in the first place.

I’m still trying to figure out what possible reason there could be for the crappy quality of support Logitech provided; so far, I’ve come up with no theory at all, but have not a doubt in my mind that “We don’t support users of alternate operating systems,” is nothing but a shallow cop-out. As unsure of any underlaying motives as I am, at least I can say this with certainty, even though it isn’t much: Logitech, your stupid support staff just cost you my roommate’s sale, and perhaps a few more.

Take a trip back to the age of the Apple II. Yeah, remember? Well, even if you don’t, or had little experience with one, it’s part of my point. If you noticed, they never had mice. Everything was keyboard-driven. There was no such thing as “point-and-click”; the monitor simply couldn’t sense what part of the screen you were pointing at. Think of it as talking to a blind, deaf person; they can’t hear or see you, but they can feel your touch – a la, you can’t dictate orders to it, and (like I said) you can’t just gesture at something and expect the computer to comply. You actually had to touch the thing in certain ways (typing commands, anyone?) to get it to do anything.

This form of input had a few limits to it. For example, you had to know how to instruct the computer to do what you wanted, whether it be some funky acronym for the Canadian French word for the command you wanted, or whether the command wanted to know your pants size in addition to what it needed to do. This required memorization, and a certain amount of brainpower (which is proving to be a really finite resource in today’s world). You couldn’t just type “Move File A on Disk B to Disk C as File D.” and expect the computer to comply with anything other than the DOS equivalent of “WTF?”.

There were some benefits to doing things this way. If you wanted to be anywhere near productive, you had to be able to provide input to the computer as quickly as possible. And if you can follow where I’m going, this isn’t a place for hunt-and-peck typing. Ah, yes…you actually had to LEARN the sacred art of touch typing, with as few mistakes as possible. You never know when one mistyped command makes your 200KB of hard-written letters disappear. (Oh wait, am I jumping ahead past the invention of the software word processor? )

So, fast forward to the introduction of the Graphical User Interface. And the mouse. “Hey! Look over here! I’m making gestures with this newfangled pointing device…and the computer’s following along! I don’t have to type the name of my programs anymore; I just ‘click’ their name and the computer starts them for me!” If you don’t get it already, this is where the trend starts to fall. People are no longer “learning” to use a PC by throwing commands at them or typing; they simply move a bloody box around and watch as the computer does all the important stuff like figuring out what the devil they’re trying to do in the first place.

(Admittedly, the Apple II did have graphics capability – very limited graphics capability – and you still needed a keyboard to control what you were doing. So call my mistake if you want, but you’re forgetting that there’s more than just a pretty red square at stake here.)

Ooh and ahh all you want, but like I said, this is where intelligence begins to lose importance as a prerequisite for computing. You don’t have to memorize commands; you don’t have to lay a finger on the keyboard unless you want to write a note at all. The mouse, with far fewer buttons than a keyboard, is part of the reason.

I’ll stop assuming you’re thinking about old copies of Mac OS a minute and lead you instead to earlier versions of Windows. Yes, my friend, there were Windows before 95. Again, people were dumbstruck by the simplicity compared to previous computers. Not only could people use their blasted mice like with the Apples, but (in the case of those who could remember what a console app was) console apps could be run too; a true case of having your cake and eating it too, if you will. Along comes good ol’ ’95 – “Oh look! All my programs are accessible from this one gaping button, and all the stuff I’m doing shows up on this bar here!” – and people are further retarded by “technologies” such as Autorun. No longer do people have to browse to the blasted CD, find the appropriate application, and launch it; instead, they sit back and watch as the computer brings the contents of the CD to THEM. Same thing with getting a new peripheral; plug the thing in, and instead of installing anything (in most cases), Windows goes through that hurdle all by its lonesome.

So, returning to the question at hand. Why isn’t Linux or some other alternative operating system mainstream? You want the truth? The keyboard…it scares people. When they’re not using it to type letters to their grandmother (which by the way, is now so advanced that the letters can move, show up blue and big and bold, and appear as if on a wooden tabletop), most users don’t want to be hassled with it. It’s a reminder of times past; times where people could only make their computers go as fast as their little fingers could move (which in some cases was not all that fast at all). And with the surging downfall in the mental capacity of most people today, it’s becoming harder and scarier for people to actually have to do more than click a box and watch their worries disappear with the contents of their Recycle Bin.

You see, it isn’t just eye candy that draws people. Compiz Fusion (or whatever the heck it’s called), transparency – anything extra isn’t the primary focus, it’s just a benefit to make things look better while things are (purportedly) getting done. It’s simplicity and automation; being able to walk up, move the mouse as little as possible and avoid the keyboard at almost all cost, and go 1/8 of the way while the computer does the remaining 7/8 and then some. If people actually wanted to put physical movement into anything, would there be such a market or demand for dictation software? Would operating systems even need to include something like that?

People want the computer to follow the fallacy that it brings information to them, rather than bringing them to the information. This isn’t Google…its the operating system, and it’s supposed to make things easy, right? Perhaps we’ve gone too far, and people are just too lazy now to understand that to get the most out of anything, you need to put some of the work in yourself as well.

In short, it isn’t about what you can duplicate from another operating system that draws people to it (since they can get their calculator anywhere), it’s how much work they have to put in to get some sort of benefit to using the OS in the first place. The more maintenance, typing, or dabbling people have to do or hear others doing, the less they become interested in following that footpath.

This is the place where we have our major split. The average Windows users are lazy, and assume they are like magnets in that everything comes to them, be it the Internet, their music, viruses (you have to admit, most viruses DO come TO you), or a girlfriend (I wish. ), and that as far as they’re concerned they don’t care about their keyboards – they’re second class input devices. Mac users, well, they’re not as lazy, since there is still the extremely occasional typing to do, and the keyboard helps out in some of the applications they have. There are 10 types of Unix users as well: GUI users who have no idea what a shell is and are probably only using the OS because a relative with computer savviness realized that they had thirty installed copies of Bonzi Buddy and needed an out badly, and those people who don’t like their mouse, but prefer navigating around a system using all ten (eleven, if you somehow have an extra) phalanges and avoiding the mouse (aka the opposite of the average Windows user).

To sum everything up nicely:  to get the more “common” lazy man, you simply need to provide enough cupholders, and make sure there’s a built-in auto-sensing back scratcher too.  That’s all everyone really wants.

Now, I don’t get a lot of traffic. But sites like FastWeb do. I have an account primarily to help me look for scholarships, but it’s turned out to be a veritable goldmine of humor and other things one generally wouldn’t associate with a college site, at least in my experience. But when I found that FastWeb decided to post a computer recommendations article of their own, I just had to review what it recommended.

FastWeb primarily posts articles for members only, so I’ve gone ahead and made a PDF of the article for your quick reference (nothing fancy) so that you can read it in its entirety if you want, but I’ve got plenty of choice excerpts that might help you get the bigger picture.

Memory: Random Access Memory (RAM) is a temporary storage area for data currently in use. It allows multiple programs to run simultaneously without slowing down your system. The more RAM you have, the faster your computer will run. The amount of RAM is measured in gigabytes (GB) or megabytes (MB). It is a good idea to get a computer with at least 512 MB of RAM. Consider getting more RAM if you will be using your computer for multimedia purposes, like watching movies and downloading music. If you plan on having your computer for a long time, look for a computer with easy-to-access memory slots that will allow you to upgrade your memory.

Kudos for recognizing that more RAM is better, fail-points for saying that it makes the computer faster in such a way that it sounds like it’s the only thing that improves performance. Now, I’m sort-of happy with the recommendation made, but the point of the matter is that it all depends on what operating system, software, and activities you run and do with the PC. My Toshiba laptop came with 256 MB standard; it ran just fine under Linux. I added another 512 MB and saw a bit of an improvement with Windows, but I haven’t noticed any change with Linux because it worked well already.

And did anyone catch the subtle “piracy ‘hint’” buried in there? Look again. Since when is downloading music solely a “multimedia” activity?

Hard Drive: The hard drive provides permanent storage for your computer. Look for computers with at least 20 GB of hard drive space.

Alright, you just got through explaining that more RAM made multimedia work better, and you just suggested everyone go download their music. Now…if I’m going to do that, I’m going to need a lot more storage than that. My music library alone (let’s not even get into my video collection) already fills at least 105% of that drive. Hell, Vista would barely install on that, let alone with enough room for you to save any of your work or install anything else (in fact, would it, once you subtract the space for the FAT and partition table?). Try adding another 0 to the size, or multiplying that by at least 4, and we’ll see then.

Software: The software you need will vary by school and program. Whether you get a PC or Mac, expect to have Microsoft Office XP, which includes Excel, Word and PowerPoint. Many schools prefer students to have the Professional edition of Microsoft Office instead of the Home edition that is usually included with new computers. Make sure you make this distinction when purchasing your computer.

Oh, there’s plenty more than that. I need to question when this article was written though. Office XP? How quaint. I’m confused on the “Home” version of Office, though – since when has Office been offered as a “home” package? And what school requires more than the basic Word/Excel/PowerPoint trio? Surely Outlook Express or *cough cough* Thunderbird is sufficient to check e-mail, and one could get away with OpenOffice? The truth is, you’ll figure out once you get to the school what you can get away with, what you need, and what’s merely for entertainment…like Unreal.

Like I keep saying…figure out what you do with a PC, figure out what works for your situation and budget, and get only what you need. And if you can, get it cheaply/free (while remaining legal, of course).
Even as this is a poor excuse for an educated recommendation, thanks to the author, Ms. Kulla, for an amusing read.

Now, you’re probably wondering what I have to do with this. It’s simple…I’m the local geek, so everyone flocks to me for suggestions on PCs. And as usual, everyone wants the best machine available on the oh-so-great college-bound budget.

So I figured I’d take some of the real-world examples I’ve run into and throw them into a post full of suggestions. Take heed; most of these will probably pertain for at least a few years down the road.

So, without further ado, I present my “two slashes”…

1. The biggest tip, and consequently numero uno, is to avoid overbuying. As a student, I understand that you’re going to want to use a machine for more than just research papers, but there are limits. Remember that this will have limited usefulness in the long run, and most machines have a lifespan of between three and five years. Yes, it’ll run longer, but by that time you’re going to be hard-pressed to be able to do anything with it. If you can get away with a slower CPU, less RAM, and ten GB less hard drive space, do it.
2. When in doubt, ask. No, not the salesperson. Someone with experience. Like me. Alright, maybe someone you know more personally (if you know anyone like that), but it’s always better to get a seasoned opinion.
3. AVOID APPLE. Yes, I just put a shotgun to the heads of countless Apple fanatics, and I’m probably going to be bludgeoned the next time I step outside. No, I don’t care. Reasoning: For the same price as the lowest build of MacBook, I can have a better-specced notebook machine for $799. Yeah, bigger screen, better hard drive, full burner, and everything. And, thanks to the power of OSx86, I could have my cake and eat it too. Apple’s customer support is alright (if you don’t mind waiting in lines at the Geek Bar at the local Apple Store), and you do have Parallels and Boot Camp at this point. But why not take the extra $200 and buy yourself a nice minifridge or something instead. If you want a white laptop that bad, there’s a $5 can of spray paint at the hardware store you can use. Just make sure to do it right.
4. It might be wise to spring for both a portable and desktop machine. Having the all-mighty notebook is nice…but if it breaks you’re going to be S.O.L. until you can get it replaced. If at all possible, it’s probably wisest for you to split the budget and do both a desktop and laptop setup. If you do it right, you can sync the two up filewise, so you don’t lose anything. And hell, if you’re trying to look for a gaming laptop, it will be a lot better to get the cheapest non-gaming, school-work-only laptop you can get and trick out a desktop instead. (Believe me, touchpad Unreal Tournament matches are not the best way to play.)
5. The frills usually aren’t worth it. I don’t care if you’re getting a free mousepad with every $300 you spend. I’ve heard several firsthand accounts of people getting talked into turning a sub-$1000 laptop into a $4000 cash cow. Follow along with the bullet below, and take advantage of everything you can to get what you need, but don’t spend a penny on useless extras like a photo printer or MP3 player dock for a player you don’t own unless it pertains to you or what you’ll be using with the PC.
6. SHOP AROUND. I can’t tell you how many times I myself have slapped myself for not doing this, but believe me, it’s worth the hassle. If you can hunt around and find a cheaper price, do it. Especially if you’ve got your mind set on a model, and the price is just a tad too high. Take advantage of price matching, free/reduced-cost shipping, and anything else that might help you get what you want for the cheapest price. Remember, you’re trying to save the money for other parts of your education, not get your wallet gouged. (I’d also say lie/cheat/steal here, but not only am I talking about things legitimately, it would be against my morals to encourage you to go around thieving. If you’re thinking it…get it out of your head.)
7. Built-in Wi-Fi (on a notebook) is a must. At this point, anything without a Wi-Fi card is a poor notebook indeed. There are just too many free hotspots available.
8. If you just can’t afford it new, go (gently) used. Inevitably, there’s going to be someone who just can’t afford the shiniest, even if it’s $200. In that case, turn to sites like eBay and Craigslist and see what people there can offer you. Remember to watch the cost though; if you aren’t paying attention, the used system is going to cost you more to purchase and maintain than something new. Work with the sellers, see what sacrifices the both of you can make. Some sellers will be more flexible than others, while others will be as rigid as the Sears Tower and not give you any leeway, so use your head.
9. Extended warranties are not always the best warranties. That’s how the majority of companies make money. And again, consider the average lifespan (3-5 years) and the progression of technology. If you’re clumsy to no end, sure, I’d recommend it simply because you might trip up the stairs while holding your laptop with one hand and a book in the other because you lost your balance. If you’re at least semi-protective of your belongings, you’ll be just fine.
10. Compare retail stores against well-known online stores. Yes, just because you got a deal at Best Buy means you got a deal at Best Buy. Check all of the competition and see what you can do. (Yes, this ties with #6.) A most-certainly-incomplete list of places to check:
    • Best Buy
    • Circuit City
    • Outpost/Fry’s Electronics
    • Staples
    • Office Depot
    • Office Max
    • TigerDirect
    • Newegg
    • Manufacturer’s websites (Dell, HP/Compaq, Toshiba, Apple, IBM/Lenovo, etc.)
    • Any Mom-and-Pop shops in your area
11. If after all this, you’re going to be using a system you already have, at least reformat it and reinstall the operating system.

I’d normally get into a discussion at this point about the best operating system for you (Windows, Linux, BSD, OS X, OS/2…), but that’s a no-brainer, as for most people it’s going to be Windows out of sheer compatibility and (to be greedy and personal) because I write software for it. If you’ve already gone too far and got something made by a company whose name and logo bear resemblance to fruit, go with Parallels and Boot Camp as I discussed back up there. If you’re an intrepid explorer, dual or triple boot Windows, OS X, and some flavor of Linux (I’m preferential to Ubuntu and Kubuntu myself.). Have fun with it, especially if you can find ways to use it to reduce your cost. I’ll add this though. Unless you’re buying new and it comes with it, there’s very little reason to get Windows Vista, and for your sake you’ll probably be better with Windows XP for the moment. This recommendation will probably change in about a year or two, but for the moment and with a look at the current outlook and available software, it’s the best (read: safest) option as far as I’m concerned.

(And for those of you who think I was paid to write this or something…I wasn’t. This is all straight from the horse’s mouth, prompted by the countless questions I’ve been asked, and written with no more bias than I usually have. )