Two Slashes

Once upon a time, I wrote a short blog post about the way to get the best computer for you. I wrote that piece as the result of a few people asking me for my opinion on what would make a decent machine for what they do; I figured that the more people I could help, the better.

Now, I don’t get a lot of traffic. But sites like FastWeb do. I have an account primarily to help me look for scholarships, but it’s turned out to be a veritable goldmine of humor and other things one generally wouldn’t associate with a college site, at least in my experience. But when I found that FastWeb decided to post a computer recommendations article of their own, I just had to review what it recommended.

FastWeb primarily posts articles for members only, so I’ve gone ahead and made a PDF of the article for your quick reference (nothing fancy) so that you can read it in its entirety if you want, but I’ve got plenty of choice excerpts that might help you get the bigger picture.

Memory: Random Access Memory (RAM) is a temporary storage area for data currently in use. It allows multiple programs to run simultaneously without slowing down your system. The more RAM you have, the faster your computer will run. The amount of RAM is measured in gigabytes (GB) or megabytes (MB). It is a good idea to get a computer with at least 512 MB of RAM. Consider getting more RAM if you will be using your computer for multimedia purposes, like watching movies and downloading music. If you plan on having your computer for a long time, look for a computer with easy-to-access memory slots that will allow you to upgrade your memory.

Kudos for recognizing that more RAM is better, fail-points for saying that it makes the computer faster in such a way that it sounds like it’s the only thing that improves performance. Now, I’m sort-of happy with the recommendation made, but the point of the matter is that it all depends on what operating system, software, and activities you run and do with the PC. My Toshiba laptop came with 256 MB standard; it ran just fine under Linux. I added another 512 MB and saw a bit of an improvement with Windows, but I haven’t noticed any change with Linux because it worked well already.

And did anyone catch the subtle “piracy ‘hint’” buried in there? Look again. Since when is downloading music solely a “multimedia” activity?

Hard Drive: The hard drive provides permanent storage for your computer. Look for computers with at least 20 GB of hard drive space.

Alright, you just got through explaining that more RAM made multimedia work better, and you just suggested everyone go download their music. Now…if I’m going to do that, I’m going to need a lot more storage than that. My music library alone (let’s not even get into my video collection) already fills at least 105% of that drive. Hell, Vista would barely install on that, let alone with enough room for you to save any of your work or install anything else (in fact, would it, once you subtract the space for the FAT and partition table?). Try adding another 0 to the size, or multiplying that by at least 4, and we’ll see then.

Software: The software you need will vary by school and program. Whether you get a PC or Mac, expect to have Microsoft Office XP, which includes Excel, Word and PowerPoint. Many schools prefer students to have the Professional edition of Microsoft Office instead of the Home edition that is usually included with new computers. Make sure you make this distinction when purchasing your computer.

Oh, there’s plenty more than that. I need to question when this article was written though. Office XP? How quaint. I’m confused on the “Home” version of Office, though - since when has Office been offered as a “home” package? And what school requires more than the basic Word/Excel/PowerPoint trio? Surely Outlook Express or *cough cough* Thunderbird is sufficient to check e-mail, and one could get away with OpenOffice? The truth is, you’ll figure out once you get to the school what you can get away with, what you need, and what’s merely for entertainment…like Unreal.

Like I keep saying…figure out what you do with a PC, figure out what works for your situation and budget, and get only what you need. And if you can, get it cheaply/free (while remaining legal, of course).
Even as this is a poor excuse for an educated recommendation, thanks to the author, Ms. Kulla, for an amusing read.

Note: I realize this is somewhat qualified to file under “Geeky”, but I think it can safely stay out due to the fact that I’m not going to get overly technical with anything the average (l)user wouldn’t pick up.

Web browsing, e-mail, chatting…they’re all things we do on a daily basis (and in my case, so does checking my site hit statistics, among other things). And for as long as anybody’s known them, they’ve been strictly two-dimensional. You point, click, and read in an interface designed for you to get the most out of what you want to look at, rather than staring blindly at a 1000-pixel-tall toolbar or a progress bar bigger than the grin on your face when you order your favorite meal.

The point I’m trying to make is that the delivery systems are two-dimensional because the content they deliver is two-dimensional as well. The text on a web page, for instance, doesn’t all consist of WordArt and Flash, especially if the people involved in designing the site had any shred of common sense. In short, there’s absolutely no need to add in a z-coordinate when the information displays just fine using x and y. It’s overkill, and it overcomplicates things.

Not to nitpick anything in particular (especially on an app that’s still in development), but I’ve come armed with examples. Take a look at 3D-Mailbox, for instance. This e-mail client promises to revolutionize the way you look at your e-mail by (what else) giving you a 3D interface with which you can act upon your communications. The e-mails file in one-by-one looking like various beachgoers, and where they go in this “oasis” designates how important they are. The fat people wading too far out into the shark-infested waters are spam, while the scantily-clad women tanning nearby are the trusted e-mails.

Now, here’s my first gripe: Why should my e-mails get so separated that there are only a handful at any one location? I prefer being able to stare at the big picture, but if I have to navigate around so much to do make a mental picture for myself, you’ve ruined everything. Why do unread e-mails go here, read e-mails go here, things the program can’t tell are spam here, and this here and that there? (Yes, I realize the bottom half of the application is a standard e-mail list…but if you’re going to the trouble of making a 3D app to do away with a standard “old-fashioned” list, why should that even be necessary? Eh? Eh? I’m waiting.)

Not to barrage the developer even more, but remember what I said about site traffic statistics? Yup…the same people that brought you 3D Mailbox have also developed a way to see who’s on your site…in 3D. Explain to me why I need to see a Greyhound drop off a few people when someone finds Two Slashes via Google. How about I just open up my copy of FireStats and read about the person who just showed up.

It gets worse beyond these too. If it weren’t for the fact that Second Life has a game(-ish) concept behind it, I’d almost call it a chat client.

Does anyone remember the old Microsoft-developed IRC (Internet Relay Chat for you newbs), aptly called Microsoft Chat (not to be confused with the Microsoft Network or any other Microsoft (blank) application)? That crazy application that turned your “bland” IRC-based communications into a fun, yet colorless, comic strip. Yes, the very same one that bungled up IRC standards so badly, the people who actually know how to use a proper client (who are still horrified when they find MSChat users spamming configuration settings to control their character’s emotional state) shudder and go into fits of rage. (Though on the other hand, I have to commend MS for providing users with a very serviceable free IRC client for their operating system…provided it was used in a standard “line” mode rather than with the comic garbage.)

There are times and places to go right ahead and use the third dimension.  But when it overcomplicates even the simplest of day-to-day tasks, there’s obviously been a step way too far over the line.  People refurbish old computers and sell them (or give them away to relatives) for use as basic web browsing and e-mail rigs.  I don’t get why these should be just as powerful and expensive as the usual gaming rig to look at what would be represented by any other application as meaningful text.

The day I need a three-dimensional client for anything is the day my communications can no longer be expressed in text.  I mean, I thought concepts like the bubbly IncrediMail were horrible (and why the f**k is it still around!?)…but then again I should have realized that if there’s a market for emoticon-splashed messaging, it was only a matter of time.  What’s next - an e-mail client that projects a hologram of some long-since U.S. president to announce new messages in “Ye Olde Englisch”?